Relationships: Love Others By loving Yourself First


Relationships are fragile; they require work, and many times a simple situation can disrupt the balance that keeps them functional. When things get heated up, standing by the water is oftentimes the best way to avoid catastrophes. As the old saying goes, “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.

I believe many people are in relationships that are burning out of control. Do you sometimes feel as though both ends are charred along with a feeling of giving up? Do you ask yourself what’s the use of going through all this time and time again? This is a question many asked yesterday, today, and will probably be asking tomorrow as well.

What’s the Answer?
Review your circumstances – what’s the cause and why?  How are you supposed to know what unconditional love is if you don’t love yourself first? If you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to build a strong relationship. And when the relationship isn’t strong, it will likely be ruined, leaving broken hearts behind.
It’s not about the g-string or the ding-a-ling. A ring is fine, however, it doesn’t seal the bond, nor does it make a person committed. Oftentimes the person receiving it is more in love with the ring than the person who has given it to them.

What Can or Should You Do?
1. Be committed to who you are first. You’ll certainly be surprised by how amazing you’ll become to yourself as well as others.
2. Look in the mirror and try to look behind what’s being reflected. I can’t tell you what you’ll see, but I guarantee you’ll hear a low voice speaking slowly to you. Don’t worry if you think you can’t hear it – pay close attention by listening to your soul, and you’ll be able to build courage from there. Your inner self is not a reflection of what you see, but how you feel. Release those feelings of resentment, sexual immorality, hate, low self-esteem, and unworthiness. If the master of all creations felt you were a mistake, misfit, unworthy of His love first, why do you think you’ve been chosen from all the seeds in the unknown?
In darkness, you stood out among the rest while being nurtured until the right time to be brought into the light of the world through a birth canal you came. Only you can figure out what happened from the beginning up until this point. Make the change, and change how love braces you no matter your size, skin color, or disabilities you may have. Remember there’s someone for everyone, including you.

In my next article I’ll be covering:

Why are women willing to accept a broken-down man, but men will not accept a broken-down woman?

Until the next time, “Stay Connected to the Vine and “Get More in Life Coaching”

Questions to think about

What makes a  person committed to a relationship? Is it about the ring? What’s your take on being committed without the commitment?

Please post your view below in the comment section!  Thank you!

Tic Toc Toe.. Which way to go?

If you can look up.  You can get up!

 I was all relaxed, lying in bed when I felt something going on with my big toe.  The pain and aggravation of a cramp in my big toe caused me to Jump out of bed; I watched while my big toe started pointing upwards towards heaven.   Have you ever experience this before?

If the big toe looks up during time of pain, why during trials in our life, we can’t find the strength to look up?  Within the body are many members and the toes are one of them.  We must stop, look and listen to our heart to hear what its saying.

Pain is often a key to unlocking the doors to freedom, for example:

  • If you’ve lost a job … You can create one.
  • Failed relationships ….  Love wasn’t in it.  Love never fails.
  • Low self esteem …. How many more of you do you think are just like you?
  • Lack of money …. You have the ability to create wealth, use it!

When the big toe starts pointing towards heaven, could it be a sign we lack doing something or we lack fluids (water)?   Instead of being pessimistic, be optimistic.

Do you think we lacked doing something or we’ve caused the pain ourselves?

We’re always looking out the window where the eyes see and are never satisfied.  Looking in the window can reveal more than the outer.  We’re always looking outward for answers that are deep within us.

Many times the people we share our pains with are the ones that increase them.  Everyone you love, don’t love you.  You can do everything in your heart and they still won’t love you.  It doesn’t mean you stop loving them, it only means unconditional love opens the window to our soul knowing the truth is often hard to face.  Many will not love you for the truth reveals everything that’s untruthful.


John 15:18-20 (NIV) If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.   If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own.  As it is you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.  That is why the world hates you.